Coming Home to Him: The Truth About Repentance and Knowing Go

What if repentance isn’t about fixing yourself—but returning to the One your heart has been longing for?

I used to think repentance was about getting myself together. Fixing what was wrong. Trying harder. Doing better so I could come back to God. But what if I had it backwards? What if repentance isn’t where the relationship begins—but what naturally happens when you start to really know Him?

Let’s talk honestly for a minute. Pretend we’re sitting across the kitchen table from each other, drinking a cup of tea. I’d probably tell you this first, for a long time, I knew about God. I knew the stories. I knew the right words. I knew what I was “supposed” to do. But there’s a kind of knowing that stays in your head and never quite reaches your heart. And that’s where everything began to change for me.

What it means to know Him (Yada)

In Hebrew, the word for “know” is yada. But it doesn’t mean knowing facts.  It means knowing personally, knowing by experience, knowing through closeness and relationship. It’s the kind of knowing that comes from walking with someone. Not studying them. Not observing them from a distance. But being with them. And this is what God has always wanted. Not performance.Not perfection. Not surface-level religion. He’s always wanted you. A heart that walks with Him.A life that is lived with Him.

And here’s where everything began to shift. The more I started to know Him like that, the more something unexpected happened.  I became aware. Not in a heavy, condemning way but in a quiet, gentle way. The Lord began to show me the places in my heart that didn’t align with His heart. And this is important it didn’t feel like shame, condemnation, or harsh correction. It felt like becoming aware in the presence of His love.

The moment everything changed for me was when I realized I didn’t want to run away and hide anymore. I found myself wanting to move closer. To tell Him everything. To be aligned with Him. And that’s when I realized.  This is what repentance actually is.

Returning home (Teshuvah)

The Hebrew word for repentance is teshuvah. It means to return, to turn back, to come home, Not punishment but invitation. Repentance isn’t God pushing you away. It’s Him saying, “Come back. Return to Me.”  And here’s the connection, when you begin to experience yada, real closeness with Him, you start to notice when there’s distance. Something inside you recognizes it. You begin to see the places that pulled you away. And something in your heart says,  “I don’t want that anymore.” Not because you have to change, but because you’ve tasted something better.

So repentance becomes Not punishment.  Not a verbal lashing for your wrongdoing.Not a requirement to earn His love. But a response to His love. It’s what happens when you realize you don’t want to be far from Him and you recognize there’s something in your life creating that distance.

What sin really does

We often think sin is just breaking rules. But more than anything it creates distance. Not separation from His love, but distance in awareness and closeness. And teshuvah restores what was lost. It brings you back into awareness.  Back into closeness.  Back into connection.  Back into yada. There is a rhythm to walking with Him. You draw close (yada). You become aware. You return (teshuvah). You experience closeness again (yada). Not once. But over and over again.

If I could leave you with one thing, it would be this Repentance is not something to fear. It’s one of the safest places you can be. Because it means you’re not as far as you thought. The door is still open. And He’s still inviting you in. Just turn. Just come back. Just say “Jesus… I want to be close to You. Let my life be a reflection of You.”

If your heart is longing to grow closer to Him, you’re not alone.

Join me on April 27th as we explore the depth of restoration, the promises of God, and the growth that comes from knowing Him and returning home to Him.

With Him in Love

Maria