From Burdened to Beloved (And How Jonah Helped Me See It)

I’ve started writing this post over and over again for the last 2 weeks.

Which is why it’s Thursday, and I still haven’t posted on my usual Wednesday. Honestly, it may be Friday before this goes out. I started and stopped so many times that I wondered if I should just skip this week and move it to the next one.

As I was editing for what felt like the hundredth time adjusting a paragraph I didn’t even like the Lord pressed something gently into my heart:

Stop writing from your agenda. Write from what I’ve been teaching you. The original topic this week was supposed to be From Burdened to Beloved.

Ironically, I was burdening myself trying to write this post.

It Began with Jonah

A couple of weeks ago, I decided to read the Bible differently. Instead of assigning myself a specific passage every day, I opened it and read wherever I felt led.

No pressure.No checklist.Just presence.

That day, I opened to Jonah.

We all know the story, Jonah and the whale. But this time something caught my attention that I had never slowed down enough to see before.

Jonah 1:3 says:

“Jonah, however, got up to flee to Tarshish, away from the presence of the LORD.”

The word presence stopped me.

Whenever a word jumps off the page like that, I know the Lord is about to teach me something. And this thought struck me:In order for Jonah to flee the presence of the Lord, he first had to be in the presence of the Lord.

Stay with me here.

Jonah wasn’t a random believer. He was a prophet. He had stood before God. He had spoken messages that came true. He knew the Lord. He knew His voice.

And yet…

He ran.

You Can Know God and Still Drift

As I kept reading, the ship, the storm, the sleep, the fish, I kept coming back to that word: presence. Jonah is running from the presence of the Lord, but God never leaves Jonah.

Not once. Even when Jonah falls into a deep sleep during a violent storm (and honestly, who sleeps through that?), God sends someone to wake him up. That part undid me.

Because I realized something: You can know God and still drift out of alignment.

Somewhere in my mind, I had created this image of the “servant of the Lord” as flawless. They pray perfectly. They obey instantly. They don’t wrestle. They don’t hesitate.

And then there was me wailing (no pun intended… okay, maybe a little) about my imperfect prayer life, my inconsistencies, and my constant feeling that I didn’t quite know what I was supposed to be doing. I compared myself to an imaginary standard of spiritual perfection.

And it was exhausting.

The Real Lesson: It’s About Presence

Maybe you’ve felt that too.

Like everyone else is doing it better. Like your struggle must mean you’re behind.

But what the Lord began to show me through Jonah is this: It’s not about what you do.It’s about presence. Not a mystical feeling. Not a spiritual high. A choice.

Am I doing what I’m doing in awareness of Him?

And yes that includes laundry.And scrubbing toilets. And writing this blog post on Thursday instead of posting on Wednesday.

Jonah eventually obeyed and went to Nineveh.

But his heart wasn’t aligned. You can obey outwardly and still be internally distant.

You can preach and still be angry.You can serve and still be striving.

The text never clearly says Jonah returned to the presence of the Lord in heart alignment.

And that’s what makes the ending so uncomfortable.

The book closes with a question.

Did he realign? Did he soften? Did he return?

We don’t know.

Appointments, Not Punishment

One detail I love in Jonah is how often Scripture says, “The Lord appointed…”

He appointed the storm. He appointed the fish. He appointed the plant. He appointed the worm. God was orchestrating everything. Not as punishment. As invitation.

Appointments from God are not meant to crush us. They are meant to realign us.

They are loving lessons that bring our hearts back into His presence.

Even storms can be mercy if they wake us up.

From Burdened to Beloved

Here’s what I realized in the middle of my editing frustration:

I was trying to get this post right. Trying to land it. Trying to make it clear. Trying to move it from point A to point B on a topic that I had chosen and I thought sounded good at the end of December.

And the Lord was gently asking me:

Are you writing this with Me… or for Me?

There it was again.

Presence.

Burdened faith strives to perform. Beloved faith chooses to remain.

Presence is not about perfection. It is about alignment.

You can be angry. You can be confused. You can feel inadequate.

But ask yourself: Have I moved out of the presence of the Lord? Am I running even subtly from Him?

Because He will not let you stay hidden forever.

He draws us back with lovingkindness.

Remain

So today, if you’re struggling with some “thing” a person, a calling, frustration, comparison a season in your life ask Him: Lord, what are You teaching me here? Then open your heart.

Because our goal is not flawless obedience.It is abiding presence.

To remain. To walk aware. To move with Him instead of ahead of Him.

That is how we move from burdened to beloved. Not by performing better.

But by staying.

With you always in the walking and the learning,

Maria